 General Discussion -  The Flood of 2005 (54 views) Subscribe   
  From:  David (DavidABrown)     Feb-23 8:01 pm  
To:  ALL   (1 of 8)  
 
  936.1  
 
In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah who was now living in the
United States, and said,  "Once again, the earth has become wicked and
overpopulated and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another
Ark and save two of every living thing along with a few good humans."

  He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have six months to build
the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40
nights."

  Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his
yard .... but no ark.

  "Noah", He roared, "I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark?"

  "Forgive me, Lord," begged Noah. "But things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need for
a sprinkler system.  
My neighbors claim that I've violated the neighborhood zoning laws by
building the Ark in my yard and exceeding the height limitations.  
We had to go to the development Appeal Board for a decision.  

Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for the
future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions, to
clear the passage for the Ark's move to the sea. I argued that the sea
would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls. But no go! 

When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.
They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will. As
well, they argued the accommodation was too restrictive and it was cruel
and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd conducted
an environmental impact study on your proposed flood. 

I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building
crew. Also, the trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I
have to hire only Union workers with Ark building experience.

To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
trying to leave  the country illegally with endangered species. 

So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least ten years for me to
finish this Ark."

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky. 
Noah looked up in wonder and asked, "You mean, you're not going to
destroy the world?"
.
"No," said the Lord. "The government beat me to it."



David A. Brown
Basic Christian: Forum
www.BasicChristian.org

 
  
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  From:  amym38     Feb-23 8:07 pm  
To:  David (DavidABrown)    (2 of 8)  
 
  936.2 in reply to 936.1  
 
wow.      good post!

yikes!

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Host:  Speaking The Truth In Love
Asst.: Basic Christian
 
  
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  From:  David (DavidABrown)     Feb-23 8:37 pm  
To:  amym38    (3 of 8)  
 
  936.3 in reply to 936.2  
 
Yeah,

I thought it was funny!

Of course you or anyone can post it wherever you want to.

This is not a restricted forum.

God Bless you,
David



David A. Brown
Basic Christian: Forum
www.BasicChristian.org

 
  
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  From:  amym38     Feb-24 12:37 am  
To:  David (DavidABrown)    (4 of 8)  
 
  936.4 in reply to 936.3  
 
Thanks, David.

Hey, how have you been?   

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Host:  Speaking The Truth In Love
Asst.: Basic Christian
 
  
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  From:  Bob (hioo)   Feb-24 6:40 am  
To:  David (DavidABrown)    (5 of 8)  
 
  936.5 in reply to 936.1  
 
I have read this before but it well worth a second read. And this is so very close to modern day truth, it hurts. 

But that is the way of good "humor" isn't it. It has its' basis in truth.


Born once; Die twice
Born twice; Die once 
  
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  From:  Julia (JulKat)    Feb-26 11:40 am  
To:  David (DavidABrown)    (6 of 8)  
 
  936.6 in reply to 936.1  
 
Too sad 'cause it's so true, but too funny!

Snagging this    :)

Thanks for the laugh.


Manager, "Soft Feathers" Forum
  
  
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  From:  David (DavidABrown)     Feb-26 7:11 pm  
To:  Julia (JulKat)    (7 of 8)  
 
  936.7 in reply to 936.6  
 
Your welcome for the laugh.

God Bless you,
David



David A. Brown
Basic Christian: Forum
www.BasicChristian.org

 
  
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   From:  Ronni (Ronni_leigh)    Feb-27 6:09 am  
To:  David (DavidABrown)    (8 of 8)  
 
  936.8 in reply to 936.1  
 
Hi David,

I found your forum from this thread advertisment. I loved this and thank you for allowing others to snag it. I will be back and join in.

Ronni
 
  
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